It is no longer surprising that social media can influence how we express grief. Facebook and Instagram have long provided spaces for sharing memories and commemorating the deceased through videos, photos, and written tributes. Now, on TikTok, expressions of grief have found a new home, where users can document their experiences through short videos, music, and creative storytelling. TikTok has become a powerful medium for first-person narratives of loss.
TikTok may seem like an unlikely place to grieve, but its blend of entertainment, self-expression, and emotional connection allows users to express their grief in a way that feels compelling and relatable. At the heart of the platform is its algorithm, which drives content discovery and creates a personalised experience for users. The “For You Page” (FYP) presents users with a curated selection of videos tailored to individual interests, that works to promote engagement and connection on the platform (Bhandari & Bimo, 2022). This can be especially comforting for those who are grieving as the platform offers a sense of community of shared experiences. TikTok users may feel that the algorithm can understand their emotional state, leading to a unique form of digital resonance, and creating a “safe space” for sharing their experiences (Eriksson Krutrök, 2021).
In the context of grief, TikTok serves as a platform where users can share their personal stories of loss and document their mourning in real-time. Content creators often engage in rituals of remembrance, such as visiting gravesites or speaking to the deceased, making these traditionally private experiences visible on the highly public platform. This visibility allows for a communal approach to grief, where individuals can demonstrate their mourning expressions, share commemorative practices, and connect with others navigating similar losses.
Researchers have observed several emerging narrative conventions in grief-related content on TikTok (Davoudi & Douglas, Forthcoming). One notable trend on TikTok is the concept of “grief diaries”, where users document their day-to-day struggles following a loss. These intimate videos often resemble vlogs, with creators directly addressing the camera and engaging with the comments section, thus creating a direct connection with their viewers and inviting them into their grief. For instance, a TikTok user might share a video of themselves crying in their car while describing their last visit to the funeral home and the overwhelming emotions of such an experience. Viewers offer sympathy and their own narratives of loss within the comments section.
These grief diaries reflect an evolving practice of sharing personal experiences that have migrated online. Morrison’s (2011) study on “mommyblogging” shows how bloggers use platform features and pseudonymity to create community boundaries and manage publicity. Douglas (2021) examines similar tactics in online grief communities, highlighting how privacy is carefully navigated in these vulnerable spaces. Marwick (2013) describes this phenomenon as “lifestreaming,” or the ongoing sharing of personal information with a networked audience.
Another emerging narrative convention involves users incorporating digital remains of the deceased into their content. This might include using voice recordings, photos, or videos of loved ones to create montages that celebrate their lives. By integrating digital remains into their narratives, TikTok users create a communal space for remembrance that honours the memory of their loved ones while engaging with a broader audience on the platform. In documenting their grief on TikTok in real-time, users express their experience of grief and the accompanying emotions that are simultaneously exceptional and mundane.
While TikTok may seem to offer a safe environment for grieving individuals, it is not without its challenges. The platform’s public nature raises concerns about privacy and the potential for negative interactions. This may lead to content creators exposing themselves to negative comments or grief policing, where others scrutinise how they express their mourning (Phillips, 2015). The commodification of grief is another concern, as the platform’s design encourages creating engaging, consumable content that can strip personal narratives of their context and depth. The temporary nature of TikTok content allows users to express their feelings in the moment without the expectation that the content will be permanently available. The transient nature of such content may not provide the lasting digital memorial or space of reflection content creators may be seeking.
Despite these challenges, as the practices and narratives surrounding grief continue to evolve on TikTok, so too does our understanding of how the platform influences our relationships with the dead and with one another. TikTok provides a space for people to express their grief openly and connect with others who are going through a similar experience. Whether this is ultimately a positive or negative remains to be witnessed. Nevertheless, and perhaps more importantly, TikTok continues to offer insights that enrich our understanding of how we mourn and remember in the digital age.
Bhandari, A., & Bimo, S. (2022). Why’s Everyone on TikTok Now? The Algorithmized Self and the Future of Self-Making on Social Media. Social Media and Society, 8(1), 205630512210862–205630512210862. https://doi.org/10.1177/20563051221086241.
Davoudi, N., & Douglas, J. (Forthcoming). “Come with me on my #griefjourney”: First-person narratives of grief on TikTok. Manuscript under review.
Douglas, J. (2021). Is This Too Personal? An Autoethnographic Approach to Researching Intimate Archives Online. In K. Toeppe, H. Yan, & S. K. W. Chu (Eds.), Diversity, Divergence, Dialogue (pp. 301–307). Springer International Publishing. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-030-71305-8_24.
Eriksson Krutrök, M. (2021). Algorithmic Closeness in Mourning: Vernaculars of the Hashtag #grief on TikTok. Social Media + Society, 7(3), 205630512110423. https://doi.org/10.1177/20563051211042396.
Marwick, A. E. (2013). Status Update: Celebrity, Publicity, and Branding in the Social Media Age. Yale University Press. https://www.jstor.org/stable/j.ctt5vkzxr.
Mitchell, L. M., Stephenson, P. H., Cadell, S., & Macdonald, M. E. (2012). Death and grief on-line: Virtual memorialization and changing concepts of childhood death and parental bereavement on the Internet. Health Sociology Review, 21(4), 413–431. https://doi.org/10.5172/hesr.2012.21.4.413.
Phillips, W. (2015). LOLing at Tragedy: Facebook Trolls, Memorial Pages, and the Business of Mass-Mediated Disaster Narratives. In W. Phillips, This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things. The MIT Press. https://doi.org/10.7551/mitpress/10288.003.0009.