The most famous Finnish people

by Klaus, Olli & Niko

Mother Finland has produced many famous people through generations.Since the time of Old Ages there have been Finnish athletes competing equally witf all other Europeans. There are also nowadays lots of great politicians, sportsmen, artists and writers etc. in Finland. The following TOP-20 introduces to you the all-time list of the Finnish celebrities. Here is the list you all have been waiting for:

1. KIRKA

The king of Finnish pop and entertainment culture. He is known all-over Pihtiputaa and other great places. Kirka is the fresh number one at the list. He has sung such great songs, as "Hengaillaan", and "Surun pyyhit silmistäni pois". Kirka is a long time influential person in rapidly spreading disco music.

2. TINO SINGH Tino is a gift for the entertainment business. He comes from the southern countries, and is also a very distant relative for the big boxer, Muhammad Ali.

3. ARJA ALHO

She is on the list because she screwed up in Cultural Weeks of Helsinki and made millions of losses. She is also known as one of the all-time great political sex symbols.

4. HANNU KARPO

Has anyone ever familiarized him- or herself with Karpo´s police record. It includes embezzlements and swindles and even treacherous crimes. The police holds him as one of the main suspects in Atlanta's bomb strike. He also has his own popular TV-show, where he acts as the true hero of Finnish poor people.

5. KATA KAERKKAEINEN Every real Finnish male has at least once seen Kata's boobs (Somebody has even touched them). She has posed with her mellons in Playboy magazine. Nowadays she makes TV-series with MTV3. Hotline information: Kata is going to break up with her husband. That means ther are lots of horny guys going for "the big hunt" of the year.

6. PIRKKO MAEAETTAE

Pirkko"Manic" Maeaettae once said an ugly word about her companion in Pihti-Putaa's cross-country competition. That explains her middle name, "manic". So Pirkko is a skier.The naughty rumors say that she had been seen in nearby Juva's mall walking with a strange- looking man. And above all this, she had been sneaking around in neighbour's pig farm. Shame on you, Pirkko.

7. HOEYRY HAEYRINEN

People may not regognise him on the streeets, but his voice is so known that you can't even compare it with the voice of Pertti " Golden Throat" Melasniemi. He is a radio reporter in YLE. The most memorable moments in his career are those, when he tells about Markku Hurme's mother's shoesize and other other important stuff for several minutes and there are only couple minutes left on the game and you don't know what the score is in the game. But still, he is a great reporter.

8. TIMO KAHILAINEN

This little looney tooney is an actor in group called Kummeli. He has his gawky whines which are the salt of the show. His hirsuteness is highly advanced and he is about thirty, but looks like forty. He really is one of the all-time legends in Finland.

9. TONI HALME

He overflows his greatness, but why. He was called "Viking" in the show called "The Gladiators". Then he went to big US of A to be a wrestler. He didn't achieve anything in there, but when he came back to Finland, he said, he was one of the great wrestlers in United States. Then he became a boxer and had several losses including the biggest match of his life, the "big" match against the other Finnish boxer, Jukka Jaervinen. So he is 150 kilos of fat and muscles and his brain capacity could be just little bigger but nevermind. Who cares him?

10. RENNY HARLIN

" Mr. Big Flop". He made couple years a movie named "Cutthroat Island". It was the biggest flop of the year worldwide. It had a massive budget, Renny is a misunderstood exhibitionist.

11. JOERN DONNER

The only Finnish guy who has achieved an Oscar. Wouwaditty wou!!! He has showed his manhood for Finnish critics in a great movie which name we now don't remember.

12. IIRO ITAEMIES

A dream of a Finnish housewife. He sucks better dust than any other vacuum cleaner. It is a shame that you can't find him from any stores. He is a real "sucker". So if you haven't already guessed, he is a goalkeeper in Kiekko-Espoo. So that explains everything.

13. JUHA FOEHR

This man is an opposite for the previous example. He is a dream of a Finnish housemister and he is a good sucker too. A weather-man in leathertrousers. He is an usual guest in a "water restaurant".

14. MATTI KYLLOENEN

Matti Kylloenen's immortal sarcastic remarks are living in Finnish motorsports. In the weekends Matti is "foaming" with the formulas and in weekdays he is playing formula games with his computer and is a real rally driver. Several retirees have complained about his violentical racing in malls with his " look-like formula" shopping cart. So be ware of him.

15. MUSKA

This famous singer is Kirka's sister. She has the same kind of a voice. She screams louder any other starling, so you can be sure she is a real fire alarmer,a nuclear bomb close to your ear, a siren, a catarrh, we now proudly present to all you, folks, Muska.

16. SEPI KUMPULAINEN

"The singing janitor". This is all we like to say about him. MR. NOBODY.

17. HENRY SAARI

Former Mr. Finland. He was in porn movies and when the press noticed what he had done, he ignored it. He is just pure muscle and bones.

18. KIM FLOOR

He has been in "Wheel of Fortune". That is his only merit.

19. KALEVI and RIKI SORSA

Kvaak, kvaak. Here are the incrediple Duck-brothers. It was written in Aamulehti that Duck-brothers have been fraternizing with the geese of Central Park's pond. Kale is a Prime Minister behind years and years, but not anymore. Riki belongs to one of the most diligent Gym-users in Helsinki. Tkis dead calm, greasy muscle man is the favourite of Eskimos in Laos.

20. MARTTI AHTISAARI

He is really big guy. Worked in Angola for several years. Oh, we almost forgot. He is the president of Finland. Has been travelling a lot as a president.

PS. Don't take this too seriously. We may have also some wrong information. We hope that you enjoyed what you read.